Don't be TARDY for the PARDY...O..oo O ...o..

Lately, I have fallen off of my celebrity addiction. I used to find them so fascinating, perhaps because my life seemed so boring and ordinary. However, isn't boring and "ordinary: read normal" what I exactly wanted? Yes. Absolutely. That normal married life with the 2.5 kids that statistics lump me into.

Then.....I fall off of the wagon. I was reading Perez Hilton....which I know is totally gossip and most likely not true but it's such a guilty pleasure so I have to take just a bite or two out of that apple. First I have to say, What The Hell is wrong with Lindsey Lohan? OMG, she looks like some 45 year old woman. What on earth is wrong with her? She had it all. Life by the balls so to speak and then she gets caught up in cocaine and drunk driving and her career spiraled out of control. She is a gifted actress, I think. I always enjoyed a Lindsey Lohan tween type flick. She was someone who I thought was "normal". You know, that girl that my daughter could identify with but not now. It's sad and pathetic......then she has to go look like this! WTF? She totally looks like some coke-head, tranny, hooker.

The Balloon Boy:
First off, as a devotee of Wife Swap on ABC....I find it fascinating that these wives would even subject themselves to another family and their ways.....I mean do you really think that in one week you are going to have such a PROFOUND effect on them that they will change and be JUST LIKE YOU? But I digress.....the Heene family was on Wife Swap last year and I remember laying in bed thinking, "who watches this show that I can call.....What a douche this dude is"...He was screaming at the new wife who was simply trying to get him to discipline his demon spawn. The kids were horrible but the dad, who is obviously the example of the family, was even worse. He was rude, disrespectful and almost seemed like he had a mental disorder. The wife was just as bad. With all due respect because I do not buy into stereotypes but I can see how the TV networks are making them more pronounced and I can see them because I'm not blind but the way that Mr. Heene (I use Mr. loosely because he hardly garners the respect that comes with some sort of title) all but said that his wife was very submissive and did what he said. She is also from some Asian country. She was a wackadoo too. She hardly seemed submissive to me. She screamed and yelled at the new husband. It was a spectacle. Now, this douchebag is all over the news because of this ridiculous stunt with the mylar balloon. Did you see that balloon? It was taped together in spots and the media was all over it.....acting like he could have REALLY floated away in a balloon. Come on! I can not believe that this tool would actually call the police and the news and then set it all up so that they could possibly get a Reality Show. You watch, he probably will. That's how our messed up priority filled world works. You are rewarded with a contract and assloads of money for being a retard. Which means, I'm a retard too because I would probably be glued to it just so I could watch him be even more stupid and degrading. His kids probably should be taken away from him because he's teaching them horrible lessons in life, relating to others and how to get away with lies and deception. Loser.



Survivor:
I do not understand how people don't watch Survivor. It's such a great show. Every year there's a "villain" and this year it is Russell. Russell is a millionaire, according to Russell but we've seen how they tell stories. Remember the ugly blond dude, what was his nickname? Jonny Fairplay? I think so....anyway the guy whose "grandmother died" on the episode where his family came to the island? Well.....I love Survivor. Jeff Probst is a babe and I love the show. I like the social experiment that it is and I like the competition. I especially like them having to actually work at winning a million dollars. These people have been sitting in the rains for almost a week.....with no shelter....some palm fronds but that's it. The last competition the "leader" who is a black dude with long hair....I can't remember his name at the time....anyway, that guy decided that his choice of reward was not the tarp that was offered but blankets because if he kept the women happy in the tribe things would be good. It didn't work. People are miserable. Idiot. Give me a tarp so I can have some shelter. Mick the doctor is yummy.....Jaison the water polo player is hot.....and of course, the pretty girls are scattered in both tribes and then....there's Shambo. Yes, Shambo. This woman has a mullet that would put Billy Ray Cyrus to shame. It's sort of grayish and not only does she wear this mullet all curly and unkempt but she rocks, and I mean ROCKS the Olivia Newton-John "Let's get physical headband". She also thinks that she is the only person who could have started fire and that everyone should trust her. I think, she thinks, that since was in the military she has some serious "beach cred", you know, street cred=beach cred....that was bad. Anyway, Shambo works hard and trying to get everyone to agree she works hard. She is so stupid that she gave another guy in her tribe the clues to the hidden immunity idol and then expected him NOT to look for it. Who do you think found it? Yes, the guy she gave the clues to and he found it and is now hiding it from Shambo. What Shambo don't know won't hurt her. That was a silly move on her part.

The Real Housewives of Atlanta:
I love, love, LOVE the "Real Housewives" of Anywhere, USA. It doesn't matter if it's the ATL (cuz I'm down like dat, I know the lingo) the OC (like, I just got this new Louis Vuitton bag and some Christian LeBoutin shoes) to NJ (Fugeddaboutit). These women kill me. I love Kim....who sings so effortlessly on her track....Don't be Tardy for the Party. She's so talented and sings like a person who is half deaf. It's just dreadful....which is a word that Dwight, the black gay man who meets every stereotype of the gay man that I can think of. The limp wrist, the snapping of his fingers, the tossing of his invisible weave, The "oh child....Ooooo Honey.....uh uh, no SHE DI-INT"....he kills me....HE should have his own reality show. Here he is at NeNe's High Heels race for some charity that she put together.......Everyone has to have a charity when they are rich don't they? The Manhatten Hw's


The Real Housewives is an addiction for me. I just love them.....Don't be Tardy for the Pardy.....Ooo O oo O!

Twitter:
Oh twitter....how I really wanted to love you. Really. I truly did but you suck. I think you are stupid. I really wish that my text messages cut off at 130 characters and now I have the stress of trying to find shortcuts and shorthand for twitter. How do I possibly make my point so concise that I am able to dwindle down my words into BTW, 4U, B4, 2moro, and this is just not fun for me. I have to think too much to do that constantly. PLUS, I get tired of it. I went on my twitter today and wanted to set my twitter so people who I want to follow get their tweets sent to my phone but that doesn't work. I'd have to have the data package on my cell so I could go online from there to check tweets. You know, I don't enjoy squinting that much trying to read tweets. I have just come to the conclusion that twitter blows. I can make my status shorter than that and I guess I will just stick with my status update. I thought I could go on and leave Dr. Phil or Elizabeth Hasselbeck a tweet because they talk about twitter a lot. WTF is up with celebs bragging about twitter? It's like done by everyone from CNN to probably PBS.....Who cares???? All your tweets are stupid anyway. I tried to follow Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore but their tweets were just silly. I don't need to know when the last time they took an Allegra was or how they are at the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I also get sick of these healthcare companies following me.....I don't like that. I need to make my tweets private. Thank God I wasn't stupid and didn't use my real name......


So.....as you can see....I have a lot of nothing on my mind.

Well, there is one thing on my mind......I am working tomorrow. Not my scheduled day, btw. However, the nurse who has been out for 4 weeks with a bowel obstruction is coming back tomorrow. I think she will be surprised how much I've learned while she's been out sick. We both graduated at the same time but because she had been at my work one month longer than me she knew a lot more. Which I totally accepted.....well now I know more because policies have changed and the way we do things at our job has changed and now she's going to be coming to me for answers to questions......Oh how times have changed. I see myself working circles around her.....It helps that she's 20 years my senior. I am hoping maybe we can not have that weird competition anymore between us because I definitely felt it before she left. It's my mission to always show up for work before her......I am gonna plan on being there at least 5 minutes before her because I like doing the controls on the glucose, urine, unlocking cabinets, checking the fridge temp and all of that. When she comes back she will want to do it.....not if I beat her to it! Watch out there lady.......

Long time, No Blog

It's been a super long time since I've blogged.....where to begin....

I graduated from Nursing school in February....started working at a skilled nursing facility and then a month later, I quit. It was so overwhelming. The nurse patient ratio is 1:30. I thought that I would die trying to get my medications out on time. With minimal training with four different nurses who had four different styles and quit a bit of office politics thrown in the mix I decided that quitting was my only option. I cried about making the decision but in the end figured that if I couldn't do the job well then I shouldn't do the job at all. I left by leaving a resignation letter for my D.O.N. I don't think she was very pleased. I felt really bad. I had a patient who was dying of a malignant type of cancer, suffering daily and on multiple pain medications every hour, I said good bye to her. I told her I was leaving and she said, "the good ones always leave." I cried and gave her a hug and told her I'd see her on the other side.....It was possibly the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. I've been looking for a new job ever since. I had a few interviews and I finally got a job offer I accepted. It's working at a family care clinic in a rural town about 45 minutes away from my home. I hope it works out well....I start tomorrow.

My kids are doing well.....they will be in 8th grade and 10th grade this school year. How time flies.

My husband is working in the Bay Area for the Ironworkers Union still. He likes the company he works with but isn't passionate about the work. He stays because the wages and the benefits are so good that he doesn't really have any other option. The Union has been good to us. He doesn't have to pay anything out of his check for any of us to be insured. We pay a copay at the dr. and that's it. We are really lucky. Even as a nurse the benefits aren't that great.

I am worried about a lot of the laws that Obama is putting into place. This whole Obama-care that he is pushing has got me really worried. I don't want to lose my health insurance in favor of a government run plan. The government has not done a bang up job with medicare and I really don't want them any further up my anus than they already are.....Oh yes, and we're getting audited by the IRS.....It's super awesome.....because I have nothing better to do with my time than to gather all kinds of information and give it to some white collar pencil pusher. Why don't they worry about someone who makes a lot more money with a lot more deductions? It's so ridiculous. How do they pick who is getting audited and who isn't? It's baffling.

Portraits of the kids

13th bday trip to SF

Ben Folds, Autographs from Ben and the band, Time with Stacy and Michael, Snuggling with Dexter and Pillow, Sightseeing around SF, Being woke up by the street construction crew, Weird Science, Shopping, Lunch, Haight-Ashbury at night by Muni Train and matching concert tees! A great time with just me and my daughter for her 13th bday!

Ben Folds and my daughter at The Warfield in SF

My honey is an artiste

Personalized converse with an H to remember Aunt Heather. My honey drew these on my daughter's new shoes for her bday

You put your kids where????

As I was getting gas today I heard a commotion. I could see through my tinted windows the car next to me and the man pumping his gas. He was sort of "yelling" at his five kids. There were two inside the cab of the pick up and five in the back of the truck. As I watched I noticed that there was a metal bed cover raised up and I thought to myself, "Surely he isn't letting those kids who are like 7 ride in the back of that truck underneath the bedcover". I'll be a sonovabitch if he wasn't. He finished pumping his gas and then proceeded to tell them to lay down. Closed the lid and turned the lock on it. I thought I was going to die. Hell, I thought they were going to die. As he drove off I noticed a magnetic business card on his door. I wrote down the phone number so I could call and complain. He drove off so fast that I didn't have time to get a license plate number but I thought that the business number and make of the vehicle would suffice. I decided to call the number from the sign. He answered.
me: Are you driving a silver pickup?
Him: yes, I am.
me: I saw you put those kids in the back of the truck and close the bedcover.
Him: uh, uh, well.....I, um had to get them home. I didn't have room inside the truck for all of them.
me: Well, I hope you know that that's really very dangerous and if you were in an accident that they could be killed.
him: Yes ma'am. I know. Thank you. thank you. thank you.
me: I hope you never ever ever do that again because it's totally illegal and dangerous.
him: yes ma'am. Thank you.

I thought what a polite idiot. I can't believe he did that. Geez, make two trips if your kids don't fit. Who does that? I've never in my life saw that happen. Of course, I'm sure it has but nonetheless....what a tool. I think I'll call the police tomorrow and make a report.

I keep seeing all kinds of moronic behavior. Last month I called the police on a woman who was beating the crap out of her daughter in the Wal-Mart parking lot. She was screaming in her face how she hated her and had her elbow upto her throat. It was mortifying. Stupid people should not be able to breed.

My Response

I love stupid people. They are so entertaining. This is a response I left for an idiot on a comment board.

"Unlike you, I actually HAVE a life so I don't spend all day online spewing vitriolic negativity all over the internet. My intelligent remark didn't take me more than 20 seconds to think of because unlike you, I have an education. You may live in Chico but I'd bet you have not attended college. I can tell by your lack of intelligent answers. You, instead choose insults because you lack the insight to actually have something intelligent to say. If you were knew what you were actually talking about then your opinion would count. Lucky for me, it doesn't. Oh and by the way, "At least" sounds very second grade. Yeah, "at least".....boy, you TOLD me didn't you?"

Dine and Ditch

Dinner tonight was sans the children. We went to a local coffee shop that is a fruit of plenty. I always get the same thing which is the potato skins with ranch dressing (it's my comfort food) and my honey ordered a french dip with french fries. The coffee shop recently started serving beer as well so my honey had himself two Sierra Nevada Pale Ale's. When our dinner came my skins were covered in green onions (which it never has had before) and the french dip was without french fries. It was brought to the attention of the waitress as she was getting ready to leave from the table. She was in a semi-comatose state of what to do.....I could see it on her face: "Should I get the fries? Should I ask him if he wants them? What should I do? Should I not stand here looking stupid?" So, she walked off on a mission to get the fries. 15 minutes later she came back and said that the fries would be out shortly. The french dip was damn near gone. I was on my last bite and Eugie was two pale ale's fiesty. He told her to forget it. She said she'd take it off our ticket. Two minutes later she returned with a huge plate of fries and she said "Are you SURE you don't WANT them?" as she wafts the smell of french fries in his face. I could see the disdain in his eyes. "No. He replies. I'm done eating now." She takes the plate and dumps them with an attitude in the busboy bin. As she leaves to recalculate our check (she had taken it 10 minutes earlier) we got our cash out and calculated how much it would be with a minimal tip. I am sick of giving servers tips for poor service. How do you forget someone's fries when they come with the meal? She didn't refill drinks in a timely manner and I had to ask her for everything. It was not busy. She had maybe five tables altogether. I was watching her.

We leave our money on the table with our plates and everything neatly tidied up cause we are just that conscientious as we have both worked in the world of food. As we get in the car to drive off I start to negotiate a U-Turn to go home. My husband is yelling at me, go the other way, don't turn around!!! I see the waitress running outside with a check and writing something down. Next thing I know, Eugie is rolling down his window and yells "THE MONEY IS ON THE TABLE!!! FUCKER!" I was dying. She totally saw us leaving and since she hadn't brought us back the check she ASSUMED that we left without paying. I am sure she was less than thrilled with ONE: being called a fucker. TWO: fucking up our order and THREE: getting a 50 cent tip for a shiteous job.

We can now laugh at our "Dine and Ditch" incident that we didn't commit but she was being super waitress and trying to get our license plate to call the cops on us. That is hilarious. She was probably like "Duh".

Now, I want a cigarette.

Burney Falls

Spontaneity

My honey and I decided to be spontaneous and drive upto Burney Falls to stay the night. We reserved a little cabin and did the short hike to the falls and the surrounding trail. We then went into Burney and had Pizza, bought snacks at the local Safeway and I got myself somethin' purdy at the local Ben Franklin. We had a great night. It was much needed. It seems like forever ago that we were all spur of the moment like!